Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
“…powerful beyond measure…”
Do we even begin to understand that power? Or perhaps most crucially, do we accept that power? I have come to the both sad and freeing realization recently that I have run from, hidden from, and feared my personal power. God, how I have feared that power. And that has had a profound impact upon my life.
Why do we flee so from being the powerful, luminous beings we are meant to be? A multitude of reasons, of course, and there is no single one that holds true for each of us. Our collective flight is borne of individual experience, however universal many of those experiences may be. And often, we find ourselves in cultures or systems that not only do not support discovery and expression of self and personal empowerment, they actively work against it.
Still, for however I may have known that dynamic in my life, I find myself confronted with the uncomfortable reality that my power has been more threatening to me than it has been to anyone else. Threatening to my need to fit in, be accepted, be loved, get along, not create difficulties in relationships that already balance on the most sensitive of fulcrums.
Every year seems to bring a fuller understanding, experience, and function within my personal power, within my Light. Great changes in my life have occurred as a result, and I’ve every expectation that more change is yet to come. Some changes have been or may be destabilizing, but all outcomes lead to life and growth, and I have peace in that knowledge.
Embracing this power, my natural tendency is to feel softly impatient to see what my life might look like three months or a year or three years from now. I’m always so anxious to get on with the journey. But also in embracing this power, I am challenging and reminding myself to live in this moment, this now, this today. This day and where I am in it is enough for this day.